JEREMY & SARAH COKE

Adoption – Africa

We didnt always know we would adopt. In fact, we used to talk about being young when all the kids moved out. Since we married young and began our family early, all four of our kids were born by the time I was 26 and Jeremy was 28.

The idea of adoption took a while for us to both get on-board with to where we could really begin discussing it. I brought it up occasionally and Jeremy didn’t really want to talk about it. I respected him and didn’t nag or whine. If Jesus would ask us to adopt, I believed He would ask both of us. But, I reasoned, He may use ME to ask Jeremy so I never really put adoption out of my mind.

In December of 2011, I asked Jeremy to sit down and have a serous discussion about my growing desire to adopt. He was willing to talk and made great points about all the reasons it wasn’t right for us. Uncharacteristically, I didn’t talk but instead just listened to him. When he was finished I had my answer. We would not adopt. I chose to believe God had closed the door. I closed the door too, to my bedroom, and cried. I vowed I wouldn’t bring it up again but I continued to pray.

In early February of 2012 Jeremy surprised me by broaching the subject of adoption one day. He’d been reading some challenging books and had been doing a lot of thinking. “Why the sudden change regarding the idea of adoption?” I asked. “Because,” he responded, “I have realized that all those really great points I had about why adoption wasn’t right for us were off-track. Every single one was based out of fear. That’s now how we live life.”

Our first hurdle was encountered right away. We will adopt, but who? when? where? HOW?

Adoption is risky. When people ask how we decided to adopt from Ethiopia our answer is that we came to the decision in a very logical way: we analyzed the risks and decided which we were willing to take and which ones we were not. Neither of us sensed a real strong pull to any one kind of adoption or any one people group, so this was the method that worked for us.

By the end of February we began the search for an agency and started the process of seemingly endless paperwork.
One highlight along the way was found during the dreaded home study. Our kids were each interviewed without us in the room. The social worker took notes and shared with us what our kids said. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I heard their honest opinions of our parenting and their views of our relationships with them individually. What an unexpected blessing!

In January of 2013 we were hit with two extremely difficult and nearly devastating circumstances. We understood that either one of the situations had the potential to shut down the whole adoption project but we decided to persevere and rely on God for His timing. Trust has also been required on the finance end of the process. We were very tied up financially at that point and these adoptions would cost us money that we didn’t have. Jeremy just kept saying that we would put our minds to it and do it! We believe the adoptions were God’s idea from the start and He’d be faithful to give us the means.

As it turns out, God’s timing really has been perfect. We’re mostly through those two horrible situations, a year later, and we didn’t end up bring home our two little Ethiopian sisters right in the middle of it all, as I once feared.

The finances have all come together, both through hard work and frugal living on our part, and generous donations from others.

We are so thankful for LHC and their benevolent donation. It has blessed us greatly to benefit from those, such as LHC, who endeavor to care for the orphan as Jesus asks us to do.”

Family Update

“We didn’t always know we would adopt. In fact, we used to talk about being young when all the kids moved out. Since we married young and began our family early, all four of our kids were born by the time I was 26 and Jeremy was 28.

The idea of adoption took a while for us to both get on-board with to where we could really begin discussing it. I brought it up occasionally and Jeremy didn’t really want to talk about it. I respected him and didn’t nag or whine. If Jesus would ask us to adopt, I believed He would ask both of us. But, I reasoned, He may use ME to ask Jeremy so I never really put adoption out of my mind.

In December of 2011, I asked Jeremy to sit down and have a serous discussion about my growing desire to adopt. He was willing to talk and made great points about all the reasons it wasn’t right for us. Uncharacteristically, I didn’t talk but instead just listened to him. When he was finished I had my answer. We would not adopt. I chose to believe God had closed the door. I closed the door too, to my bedroom, and cried. I vowed I wouldn’t bring it up again but I continued to pray.

In early February of 2012 Jeremy surprised me by broaching the subject of adoption one day. He’d been reading some challenging books and had been doing a lot of thinking. “Why the sudden change regarding the idea of adoption?” I asked. “Because,” he responded, “I have realized that all those really great points I had about why adoption wasn’t right for us were off-track. Every single one was based out of fear. That’s now how we live life.”

Our first hurdle was encountered right away. We will adopt, but who? when? where? HOW?
Adoption is risky. When people ask how we decided to adopt from Ethiopia our answer is that we came to the decision in a very logical way: we analyzed the risks and decided which we were willing to take and which ones we were not. Neither of us sensed a real strong pull to any one kind of adoption or any one people group, so this was the method that worked for us.

By the end of February we began the search for an agency and started the process of seemingly endless paperwork.

One highlight along the way was found during the dreaded home study. Our kids were each interviewed without us in the room. The social worker took notes and shared with us what our kids said. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I heard their honest opinions of our parenting and their views of our relationships with them individually. What an unexpected blessing!

In January of 2013 we were hit with two extremely difficult and nearly devastating circumstances. We understood that either one of the situations had the potential to shut down the whole adoption project but we decided to persevere and rely on God for His timing. Trust has also been required on the finance end of the process. We were very tied up financially at that point and these adoptions would cost us money that we didn’t have. Jeremy just kept saying that we would put our minds to it and do it! We believe the adoptions were God’s idea from the start and He’d be faithful to give us the means.

As it turns out, God’s timing really has been perfect. We’re mostly through those two horrible situations, a year later, and we didn’t end up bring home our two little Ethiopian sisters right in the middle of it all, as I once feared.

The finances have all come together, both through hard work and frugal living on our part, and generous donations from others.

We are so thankful for LHC and their benevolent donation. It has blessed us greatly to benefit from those, such as LHC, who endeavor to care for the orphan as Jesus asks us to do.”